"I Dont Know"

I hate when I can't express myself through words. Its frustrating when you can't explain something adequately because the words don't exist, or - even worse - you don't know exactly what you're trying to express. But now I'm wondering if fear plays a part in this. Fear of being a burden or exposing myself so openly to someone as it is, I don't know how to verbalize my feelings. When people ask whats wrong, I avoid the question because, more often than not, the answer is...

"I don't know"

That being said, I need advice and opinions and people in my life. Hyrum is a prime example of a good friend who I can always turn to to help me work out my thoughts. Usually all that happens is he'll go on about life and I attempt at piecing together my own thoughts and feelings and eventually come up with a solution without even having to convey to Hyrum that I honestly Dont Know whats up with me.

I can also sometimes achieve this through writing - hence the blog - but sometimes writing just doesn't cut it. Especially when the words just don't exist. This brings me to tonight.. I did my visiting teaching tonight. The lesson was on the importance of scripture study. It dawned on me that when I am studying the scriptures the spirit has a way of placing the words I need into the front of my mind as if they really did exist and I just knew not where I could find them before. I have discovered its rather similar when I'm searching out advice with Hyrum.. and actually, a feeling I just recently experienced with my new friend Matt Brown. Something I personally wasn't expecting.

Now I realize, through the Spirit we really can obtain all knowledge and know the mysteries of God. That includes everything we need to know to get us through this life. We just need to put ourselves in the right places..
.............prayer
.................singing in choir
......................keeping a journal
...........................keeping good friends
...............................personal scripture study
...................................attending church meetings
.........................................Standing In Holy Places
..so we can have the spirit.. to teach us.. and help us piece our lives together, even when we don't exactly know whats wrong.

I am so excited for this up coming weekend!! I honestly haven't been this excited for Conference in a while. I don't exactly know how I am going to manage watching it tho because this is also the first time I haven't had easy access to it and haven't had someone close to me to watch it with. For the last 3 years I have hosted a conference party every Conference but this Conference is gonna have to be different whether I like it or not. I will find a way to watch it, even if it means going to a Stake Center somewhere.