Marks Homecoming - A weekend in Beaver

Its been a rather long weekend.. a long weekend which for me started last Wednesday night but to make it shorter and more bearable to read ill start on Friday. After having a couple of very confusing and stressful days, I made the decision an hour before I was going to make the trip to Beaver for Mark’s homecoming.. then? a half hour before I decided not to go.. then? when Chelsie and Cressa (w/ a cheerleader pose) showed up at my door to take me South they saw my red beat face and my very teary eyes. I couldn’t just tell them I wasn’t going anymore so without saying anything I grabbed my stuff and went with them hoping I wouldn’t regret going. The drive was long and consisted of Cressa being Cressa.. and Chelsie going on about Daniel like always (I love that boy). I, on the other hand, sat in the front seat clenching to BillyBear, staring off at the lights in front of me, doing everything in my power to keep from crying. Silent tears still came down.. but they were just that, silent.. but no less painful. Not much was said from me.. I was leaving my issues in Logan and bring the worry and the sick home with me to all of my issues back in Beaver. Life was crashing around me. Skipping ahead.. the next couple of days in Beaver were rather long. On Saturday, a trip to Beaver Mountain passed some of the time.. but still left hours and hours of being somewhere I didn’t want to be. Shan, Alish, and Kenzie dropped my place Saturday night to go on a walk. Strange to see Mackenzie.. but at the same time there really wasn’t a whole lot which could have made my weekend much worse. We stopped and had brownies at Chelsie and talked with her fam and after made our way back to Shan’s and played Apples to Apples. I was ready for bed at this point but knew I had no where decent to sleep. Today consisted of Mark’s homecoming and lots and lots of people. The first thing Mark said to me when I saw him this morning was “Ember! Wow.. you look great!” and a great big Mark hug to follow. I realized as he spoke that I had really missed him much much more than I thought. I cried through the majority of the talk and when he finished I came to the conclusion, Mark had left a boy.. and came back a man. Later as everyone was eating.. and at Mark’s home after the food I also decided it was like we had never skipped a beat. He was still Mark. The exact same Mark. Same jokes, same personality and everything.. it was like he had never left. Except he is now a man instead of a boy. Strange I know but that’s how it is. Mark described it very well to us.. before his mission he did everything out of duty and now?.. everything he does is out of Love. He hit the nail on the head with that description. It was rather strange being with everyone.. I still felt like the odd one out like I did in High School. Mark and Shan with their piano, Kenzie and Whit with their crazy off the wall jokes and personalities, Alisha as cute as ever, and Cressa still being the cheerleader. Then me.. just there. That’s not who I am anymore and that’s what bothered me most as the day went on.. I was treated as I once was. Now?.. im back home waiting for a text from Chelsie. Which should be soonish.. Im so ready to be back in my bed in Logan no matter how cold it is.